Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Year End Updatastic!

Hello Dear Friends,

I have been a slouch when it comes to my recent Cookie Tuesday updates. Partly because they have been boring repeat cookie and partly because I forget everything all the time!

So I will give you an update on the cookies & crafties portion of my life over the last few weeks:

I started knitting 2 or 3 weeks ago and have completed one puny but adorable green fuzzy scarf, one citron scarf that is serious about keeping me warm and covered and that is all. But I am working on another project that will be a (hopefully) wonderful gift for a friend.
I have also started reading way more knitting and crafting blogs which is due in large part to Cherish's recommendations. With all the reading I have come up with a myriad of craft ideas, none of which have actually been started yet. I'm confident I'll get there, though.
My cookies as of late have been relatively boring, some oatmeal something or others, some peanut butter chocolate chunks.
I did make a large batch of oatmeal, dried blueberry & semisweet chocolate cookies that I divvied up and gifted to family members last night. They seemed pretty excited about them, especially since they have been aware of my baking chops for a few years.
And! And! AND! As a Christmas gift I got the heaviest bag ever. That is because it contained:
1 10 lb bag of organic all purpose flour
1 10 lb bag of organic granulated sugar
1 large bag of semisweet chocolate chips
1 silpat mat
I was the most excited about that gift. When I got home last night I was so tired that I just left it in my car. However, if a baking emergency pops up at any point throughout the day and perhaps even tomorrow I will have some supplies!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Holiday Cookie Potluck Hooray!

Today was tremendously delicious. And I tremendously neglected to photograph any of it.
I made peanut butter blossoms. You know, those peanut butter cookies with a hershey's kiss on top? They were all right, I guess.

The moral of this story is:
1. Cookie potlucks are awesome
2. Peanut butter blossoms are okay

Monday, December 3, 2007

National Cookie Day! Hooray!

Tuesday is National Cookie Day!!!!!!

In honor of this truly joyous occasion I whipped up a few Loreos. I slipped some mini semisweet chips in the filling in approximately half of the cookies. I was not entirely confident that it was enough of an enhancement to alter the whole batch but I did think it was worth a try.

I had this whole tremendously beautiful plan for my evening:
Stop at the grocery store briefly to grab eggs, butter & cream cheese. Run on home. Mix up the cookies & bake them. Store the cookies. Go to Melanie & Cherish's for the dramatically delicious "Heroes" finale. Run on home. Mix up the cream cheese & powdered sugar filling. Spread between all the cookies. Throw the cookies on a tray. (Do not literally throw the cookies on a tray.) Shove in refridgerator until morning is nigh.

I fucked all this up because I did not take into account the fact that I would not actually do this. I would instead laze around until the "Heroes" finale. Then stop at the grocery store on my way home from their house. Run on home. Mix up the cookies & filling. Etc, etc, etc. So my perpetual procrastination pervades me once again.
But that was some sweet alliteration, huh? Huh? I know it! I was pretty excited about that one.

So my plan for the rest of this evening is this:
Get some motherfucking sleep. I will do my best at this. It will be a valiant attempt no matter the outcome.

Monday, November 26, 2007

In My Experimental Cookie.

Melanie and I made up these cookies today during a fit of exasperation on my part. This exasperation was due entirely to Melanie's stupid fucking pinball score which I will never ever beat but will keep trying until I kills me. Literally. It will kill me. So we made up some cookies. Chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips & coconut. I decided to add some of those teeny semisweet chips because I had a bag laying around that was about 85% full and I was never going to use 'em. Now it's about 70% full and I will probably never use 'em.

To summarize:
These cookies will be incredibly rich but still delicious.
I will never win at that motherfucking pinball game but I will keep trying until I have a panic attack that manifests as my head actually exploding. It will be messy. And I will still be a loser at that goddamn stupid terrible fucking game.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


I'm not sure if you know this or not but today was Thanksgiving. So, I baked some things. Including oatmeal, dried cranberry, coconut & pecan cookies. You can check out that delicious dough to your left. And it's delicious product below. The delicious product is housed in some of my finest midwestern metal tupperware.

And this evening I baked an apple pie. Hopefully it is a delicious apple pie. It better be fucking delicious because it's not going to win any beauty contests. It's fairly misshapen.

So, basically, happy Thanksgiving peeps. I hope you ate delicious foodstuffs! Perhaps even a more than slightly misshapen apple pie! I can't be the only terrible pie baker in the world.
Oh, man. I feel really inadequate right now. In slightly better news I played a rockin' game of scrabble today.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ye Old Faithful.

Being broke means one of two cookie possibilities:
1. Oatmeal something or other
2. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk
This is because I always have the ingredients on hand for these so I don't have to buy a single thing.
Tonight that meant numero dos!
The PBCCs are back and better than ever!
That's not entirely true. I had one, they're about the same as they usually are. Maybe slightly worse. But whenever I get to feeling down about my cookie outcome I just think about store bought cookies and remember that I'm better than most people, places, and things. Oh, wait! I'm actually just a judgmental elitist. But at least I'm aware of it.

These suckers are easy as all get out:

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 chunky peanut butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 cups all purpose flour
1-1 1/2 cups bittersweet chocolate chunks

Bake 11-12 minutes @ 350.

Monday, November 12, 2007


This photo showcases my cute silverware, most favorite mid-70s pyrex mixing bowl (it's pea green!) and the best lookin' dough in town. Oatmeal cookies look far better in dough form.

This is a true fact just for you.

And I will argue this point with a photo.
Because that is the only way I know how.
Because I got a C in debate class.
Because I didn't really pay very much attention.
Because I was too busy reading/writing on the haiku corner.
Can you blame me?! Probably.
Should you?! No.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

This is almost like blasphemy.

I am coming to you not on a late Monday evening but instead an early early Sunday morning. And I'm not baking cookies. Oh, no. That scent lurking from the oven is that of biscotti. It smells good and treasonous.

My big brother's birthday was on Thursday. And I am massively tardy in getting my shit together for this one. But I baked him biscotti. Baked goods are my favorite gift to give because it's cheap & easy (like me!).

So I made chocolate biscotti with dried cherries & white chocolate and regular biscotti with bittersweet chocolate and toasted almonds!

And I have no fucking clue as to their deliciousness. Not only will I not be trying one until tomorrow when I bring half of each loaf to brunch but I also don't like biscotti much. Oh, by the way, I am hypercritical of myself. So, basically, I will say it's barf even if it isn't. Because to me, that's what my baked goods taste like.

P.S. I know, I know, I know! That tray is too large for the quantity of biscotti I'm bringing to brunch tomorrow! But I really like the tray and this way I could do a fun single level arrangement of my contrasting biscottis!

And now for something sort of different but still related to baking.

The Cookie Tuesday Potluck!!!:

As Melanie said, "Cookies as far as the eye can see." So about a thousand million people brought cookies in and we ended up making $39.04 which is pretty choice!

I am constantly surprised when people donate lots of money or bring in cookies. I am way too cynical and smarmy to believe in the good nature of individuals. That's not really true. But it's almost true. And I just realized I had my shoulders hunched up to my ears. Which is kind of uncomfortable.

The moral of today's lesson:
People are apparently not assholes and I decided to try my hand at biscotti. Those events are unrelated. Also, don't hunch, kids!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Cookie Tuesday Potluck!

Tomorrow is our Cookie Tuesday Potluck! This is excellent news for me because I only made half as much cookie as usual. Half as much cookie = half as much time = half as much work = way more time to sit in my big comfy chair watching Heroes and drinking hot cocoa.

I made oatmeal, semisweet chocolate chip & dried cherry cookies!
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2-2 1/2 cups rolled oats
1-1 1/2 cups semisweet chips
1-1 1/2 cups dried cherries

Bake @ 350 for 9-11 minutes.
Makes about 3 dozen.
Is fairly tasty.

Anyways, hopefully people will actually remember to bring in cookies if they said they would. I have said before that the people at work surprise my cynical self with their generosity. But they don't actually like to do stuff. It's way easier to stick a dollar in the box and grab a cookie than bake cookies and plate them and bring them in. Perhaps they will again surprise my cynical self. But I am too cynical to believe that.

Okay, I had to make this quick 6 am edit:
I had a dream last night that I got to work and then someone emailed me saying "Good job on the cookies today, it's a good thing you brought in more than just a dozen since everyone forgot to bring cookies." And then I panicked and woke up. Really, it was more of a nightmare. But now I am paranoid that everyone will forget to bring cookies.
I have had many crazy dreams lately. Two nights ago I dreamt that Melanie, Cherish and I were in some quiet, crowded public place and suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to watch Heroes!!!!!!" And then everyone stared at me, Melanie and Cherish laughed, and I sat down on the floor. Thank goodness I did remember to watch Heroes last night so this dream would not become reality.
Then last night I had another weird dream, in addition to the potluck nightmare, where I got home and was getting ready for bed when suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to vote!!!!!!" Then I sat down on the floor.

1. I hope people remember to bring cookies!
2. Heroes was pretty good!
3. I will be voting today, of course!

Monday, October 29, 2007

I made cookies.

So, Wednesday is Halloweeeeeeeeeeeen. Which is my most favorite of holidays to truly celebrate. In honor of this holy day I made spider web cookies.

These fuckers were a pain in the ass. I imagine they would've been less of a pain in the ass if I hadn't made a thousand million of them. Such is my weekly plight.

Anyways, they are simple chocolate cookies:

3 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

I rolled these out to about 1/8 inch and cut out spider webs with a knife free hand, they probably have cookie cutters but I wanted different shapes and sizes and I am a control freak so I hand drew them all with my awesome little green knife.
Then I baked them at 350 for 10 minutes. They don't look too different after baking so you have to be careful that they have baked long enough.

With some simple icing:
2 large egg whites, beaten until stiff
4 cups confectioner's sugar
1 lemon, juiced

Then I melted some delicious bittersweet chocolate and piped it onto the cookies in a spiral. And then I took a toothpick and drew it from the center to the edges and then from the inner curves back to the center.
And then I waited for them to harden.
And then I stacked them all on my spider web plate.
And then I decided that, while they taste fairly decent, not great, but not bad (especially for plain cut outs), they look fucking awesome. And looks are way more important.

By the way,
Mo' Birthdays, Mo' Problems..
Or, if you prefer,
Another Week, Another Birthday.
Tomorrow is Paul's birthday. I made him a birthday cookie anyway.
And I forgot to take a picture of it before wrapping it all up and sticking it in my fridge so you also get a super special sneak peak at approximately 3 items in my fridge. But more importantly, I am pretty happy with how his birthday cookie turned out. I think my m&m candles are pretty rockin'!!!! Am I right or AM I RIGHT?!?!

P.S. I am going to be a vampire for Halloweens. And I am totally wearing my fangs all day at work on Wednesday. It's subtle, yet bold.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Ginger Cookies Drizzled With Lame.

So these are ginger cut-out cookies drizzled with bittersweet chocolate.
And here is how it goes:
Oh man! These cookies are so cute! I bet they are super delicious as well! I will taste one!
Oh man! I just tasted one and it was not too fantastic! I hear these are supposed to be ginger, but I can't taste that too much! And should they really be that crisp?! At least they look good, though! Because that's what is truly important!

I did have one triumph this evening:

Today was Steve's birthday and I definitely forgot to make this wonderful birthday cookie for him yesterday evening. Because I was way too busy watching The Lost Boys. So I made it tonight and it is glorious. I had to bake the cookies in 9 inch springform pans. So not only is it glorious, it is also gigantasaurus. And that's chocolate cream cheese filling & topping. And a sad attempt at spelling Happy Bday in m&ms. Those fuckers are hard to write with. And apparently in real people size my photo is blurry. Which is a bummer. Just imagine how beautiful it is because I am way too lazy to take another picture. And yes those are mini semisweet chocolate chips scattered around the m&ms!!!

Post Cookie Update:

So my work peoples seemed to enjoy the cookies and they grew on me over time. Not literally grew on me, that would be weird.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Double Chocolate Coconut Cookies!

Yo! So I was browsing my mom's cookbook shelf and decided to take a gander at The New England Table. In it I found a number of glorious recipes including one for Double Chocolate Coconut Cookies. I altered it slightly, less coconut & more chocolate chips, semisweet chips instead of milk chocolate chips, and light brown sugar instead of dark brown. Not too much. But enough that they are even more delicious than Vermont could ever have imagined.
I got an early start on my cookies so I wouldn't have to mix while watching Heroes. Because Heroes is wonderful and I want Bennet, The Man In The Horn-Rimmed Glasses, to be my dad. I am kind of bummed that Nathan shaved his beard, though. He looked ridiculous with it but in the most wonderful way.

So, anyways,
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sweetened flaked coconut
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1. Combine butter and sugars. Add eggs one at a time. Mix in vanilla.
2. Add cocoa powder to butter mixture slowly.
3. Sift together flour, baking soda and salt then add to butter mixture.
4. Fold in coconut and chocolate chips.
5. Place on cookie sheets in mounding tablespoons, at least 1 inch apart. Bake 11-13 minutes at 350.

Now I don't usually talk up my cookies, especially before anyone else has even had one, but these are fucking amazing. They're super dense little cookies with just enough coconut and gooey chocolate. They're not overly sweet but they are definitely rich.

Also, Mr. Flying Teen High School is slightly less creepy than last week but still skeeves me out a little. Skeeves being a technical term, of course.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Snicker scoodlie hoodlie doodlies.

These cookies are actually just plain old Snickerdoodles. Not Snicker scoodlie hoodlie doodlies. But that name is far more exciting.

These cookies have disappointed me. Greatly. I am thinking that a more exciting name will make this less apparent.

I have never made Snickerdoodles. Or eaten them. Or seen them in person. So perhaps they turned out exactly as they should. But I am skeptical.

Hopefully they are mighty tasty. I haven't had the heart to even try one. Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamatic.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Hamburger Cookies!

1. I am a ridiculous idiot. I will tell you a tale about this in a bit.
2. These are actually called no-bakes. But that is boring and lame. When my big brother and I were wee children we decided these so called 'no-bakes' most definitely looked like hamburgers and hamburger cookies was a much more suitable name. Thus they are hamburger cookies to me and mine.
3. Because I went out to dinner tonight and then watched Heroes I had to make a quick cookie so I would not be up until the late hours of the evening. Because I am up until the late hours of the evening far too often and need to cut back on this. Also, I love my hamburger cookies and do not make them very often. And it's my motherfucking birthday so I'm making cookies I like.

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
4 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 cup peanut butter (I use chunky but it doesn't technically matter I guess. Chunky is supreme, though.)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups rolled oats

Bring butter, sugar, milk & cocoa powder to a boil and boil for exactly one minute! Then add peanut butter, vanilla & oatmeal. Mix it all together real quick and then spoon mixture onto parchment paper. Let cool. Plate. Serve.

Now, back to 1. As you see in the recipe you must boil that deliciously sugary mixture. And mix it together real quick. Well, I was adding the peanut butter to the boiling sugary mixture and got a little overzealous and sent boiling sugary mixture down onto the floor. Onto my toes. And being the fool I am I did not immediately think, "Put down the pot and stick your foot under cold water!" I thought, "I must keep mixing these cookies and spoon them onto the parchment paper before they get too cool!" As I was spooning these bad boys I could feel my toes blistering. By the time I was done and put the pan in the sink to soak, 3 of my toes had fully blistered and the skin had started peeling off. I ran my foot under cold water for a little while but realized I had kind of missed the boat on that one. So I threw some ice in a bag and now have that resting on my foot while I am updating my cookie blog!

So, to summarize, I am a fool. And I put my cookies' safety above my own. But those fuckers are tasty, man.

All Growed Up.

Today is my 20th birthday. Which means I am old. It also means that certain peoples made me a Johnny Cash cake for my birthday. Which means awesome.

This is the blog-o-maniac who made my cake and she put up some rockin' pictures:
Spoiler: You will see a ring of fire.

Also, I added to the link October's charity. We're donating to Second Harvest Heartland again. We donated to this charity a few months ago but it's really genuinely awesome and should get some more. The way they use their money is really amazing and they do some fairly sweet things with it. So you should click on that October's Charity link. You should.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Blah Blah Oatmeal Cookies Blah Blah Blah

I make oatmeal cookies so so much. Last night was no different.

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 1/2-4 cups old fashioned rolled oats
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag bittersweet chocolate chips

I would show you a picture but oatmeal cookies don't really look that nice. Even with my cow butter dish watching out for the kids in a photo they still don't look that nice. But they are delicious.

This week my cookie making was fueled by the season 2 premiere of Heroes! I was so glad to see those horn-rimmed glasses again. And how good is the Hiro storyline? Right? Right? I'm excited for this season. And more horn-rimmed glasses.

Also, I realized today after giving someone this recipe that my recipes are all for a large amount of cookies. As in, 6-8 doz. at least. Which I have never mentioned to anyone when passing out recipes. So, my good people, know this: If you choose to make the above recipe and are not making it for a gaggle of merrill employees perhaps you might scale it back a bit?

Peace out!

Monday, September 17, 2007

The ones that started it all...

It's peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie fun time!

Well, to be honest, I cannot guarantee the fun part but it's most definitely peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie time!

These are the very first Cookie Tuesday cookies, my friends. Decades ago I made these for my wonderful coworkers and a tradition was born out of desperation for a more enjoyable work place. Cookies are fucking awesome and make everything better, basically.

Also, this cookie making was fueled by Bad Company, Foreigner, Three Dog Night and Booker T. & the MG's. So you must realize that this can only produce something delicious.

And I would like to point out my cow butter dish discreetly watching out for these kids. It's one hell of a butter dish, let me tell you.

Now let me tell you something else: Clowns are fucking creepy. I have just realized this. I know, I know, everyone else in the world has known this for centuries. But it took me a little bit longer. The second episode of the second season of Supernatural features an incredibly creepy killer clown. And if you just so happen to watch this episode alone in an apartment with creaky floor boards and all the lights turned off and crows flapping outside your window you will be fucking creeped out.

This is a true fact.

Cookie Sensei, out!

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Cookie Tuesday Gospel

Welcome to my potentially lame Cookie Tuesday blog. I am apprehensive about this because I do not know how much I truly have to say about my delicious children every single week. So there is a very real possibility that I will quit this within the month. But I'm not cynical.

Moving on, in this inaugural Cookie Tuesday post I give you Loreos!!!

They are back! And probably about as good as ever! Maybe even slightly worse!

I will briefly tell you my cookie process that is generally the same every single week. Because I live for consistency.

1) Get home, grab beer, avoid kitchen for at least 2 hours.
2) Grab second beer, finally decide to mix up the cookies. This is done begrudgingly until I put my cute apron on. It is a confirmed fact that my cute apron makes almost all things better.
3) Sift dry ingredients. Mix sugar(s), butter, vanilla & eggs. Combine the two. Grab third beer.
4) Spoon those cookies like there is no tomorrow. Onto my cookie sheets. Then place them in the oven.
5) Grab fourth beer. Go through the spooning & oven schtick 6-10 times.
6) Pile cookies onto a plate in a teetering and precarious manner.
7) Go to bed knowing I have done some good here tonight.