Monday, November 26, 2007

In My Experimental Cookie.

Melanie and I made up these cookies today during a fit of exasperation on my part. This exasperation was due entirely to Melanie's stupid fucking pinball score which I will never ever beat but will keep trying until I kills me. Literally. It will kill me. So we made up some cookies. Chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips & coconut. I decided to add some of those teeny semisweet chips because I had a bag laying around that was about 85% full and I was never going to use 'em. Now it's about 70% full and I will probably never use 'em.

To summarize:
These cookies will be incredibly rich but still delicious.
I will never win at that motherfucking pinball game but I will keep trying until I have a panic attack that manifests as my head actually exploding. It will be messy. And I will still be a loser at that goddamn stupid terrible fucking game.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


I'm not sure if you know this or not but today was Thanksgiving. So, I baked some things. Including oatmeal, dried cranberry, coconut & pecan cookies. You can check out that delicious dough to your left. And it's delicious product below. The delicious product is housed in some of my finest midwestern metal tupperware.

And this evening I baked an apple pie. Hopefully it is a delicious apple pie. It better be fucking delicious because it's not going to win any beauty contests. It's fairly misshapen.

So, basically, happy Thanksgiving peeps. I hope you ate delicious foodstuffs! Perhaps even a more than slightly misshapen apple pie! I can't be the only terrible pie baker in the world.
Oh, man. I feel really inadequate right now. In slightly better news I played a rockin' game of scrabble today.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ye Old Faithful.

Being broke means one of two cookie possibilities:
1. Oatmeal something or other
2. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk
This is because I always have the ingredients on hand for these so I don't have to buy a single thing.
Tonight that meant numero dos!
The PBCCs are back and better than ever!
That's not entirely true. I had one, they're about the same as they usually are. Maybe slightly worse. But whenever I get to feeling down about my cookie outcome I just think about store bought cookies and remember that I'm better than most people, places, and things. Oh, wait! I'm actually just a judgmental elitist. But at least I'm aware of it.

These suckers are easy as all get out:

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 chunky peanut butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 cups all purpose flour
1-1 1/2 cups bittersweet chocolate chunks

Bake 11-12 minutes @ 350.

Monday, November 12, 2007


This photo showcases my cute silverware, most favorite mid-70s pyrex mixing bowl (it's pea green!) and the best lookin' dough in town. Oatmeal cookies look far better in dough form.

This is a true fact just for you.

And I will argue this point with a photo.
Because that is the only way I know how.
Because I got a C in debate class.
Because I didn't really pay very much attention.
Because I was too busy reading/writing on the haiku corner.
Can you blame me?! Probably.
Should you?! No.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

This is almost like blasphemy.

I am coming to you not on a late Monday evening but instead an early early Sunday morning. And I'm not baking cookies. Oh, no. That scent lurking from the oven is that of biscotti. It smells good and treasonous.

My big brother's birthday was on Thursday. And I am massively tardy in getting my shit together for this one. But I baked him biscotti. Baked goods are my favorite gift to give because it's cheap & easy (like me!).

So I made chocolate biscotti with dried cherries & white chocolate and regular biscotti with bittersweet chocolate and toasted almonds!

And I have no fucking clue as to their deliciousness. Not only will I not be trying one until tomorrow when I bring half of each loaf to brunch but I also don't like biscotti much. Oh, by the way, I am hypercritical of myself. So, basically, I will say it's barf even if it isn't. Because to me, that's what my baked goods taste like.

P.S. I know, I know, I know! That tray is too large for the quantity of biscotti I'm bringing to brunch tomorrow! But I really like the tray and this way I could do a fun single level arrangement of my contrasting biscottis!

And now for something sort of different but still related to baking.

The Cookie Tuesday Potluck!!!:

As Melanie said, "Cookies as far as the eye can see." So about a thousand million people brought cookies in and we ended up making $39.04 which is pretty choice!

I am constantly surprised when people donate lots of money or bring in cookies. I am way too cynical and smarmy to believe in the good nature of individuals. That's not really true. But it's almost true. And I just realized I had my shoulders hunched up to my ears. Which is kind of uncomfortable.

The moral of today's lesson:
People are apparently not assholes and I decided to try my hand at biscotti. Those events are unrelated. Also, don't hunch, kids!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Cookie Tuesday Potluck!

Tomorrow is our Cookie Tuesday Potluck! This is excellent news for me because I only made half as much cookie as usual. Half as much cookie = half as much time = half as much work = way more time to sit in my big comfy chair watching Heroes and drinking hot cocoa.

I made oatmeal, semisweet chocolate chip & dried cherry cookies!
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2-2 1/2 cups rolled oats
1-1 1/2 cups semisweet chips
1-1 1/2 cups dried cherries

Bake @ 350 for 9-11 minutes.
Makes about 3 dozen.
Is fairly tasty.

Anyways, hopefully people will actually remember to bring in cookies if they said they would. I have said before that the people at work surprise my cynical self with their generosity. But they don't actually like to do stuff. It's way easier to stick a dollar in the box and grab a cookie than bake cookies and plate them and bring them in. Perhaps they will again surprise my cynical self. But I am too cynical to believe that.

Okay, I had to make this quick 6 am edit:
I had a dream last night that I got to work and then someone emailed me saying "Good job on the cookies today, it's a good thing you brought in more than just a dozen since everyone forgot to bring cookies." And then I panicked and woke up. Really, it was more of a nightmare. But now I am paranoid that everyone will forget to bring cookies.
I have had many crazy dreams lately. Two nights ago I dreamt that Melanie, Cherish and I were in some quiet, crowded public place and suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to watch Heroes!!!!!!" And then everyone stared at me, Melanie and Cherish laughed, and I sat down on the floor. Thank goodness I did remember to watch Heroes last night so this dream would not become reality.
Then last night I had another weird dream, in addition to the potluck nightmare, where I got home and was getting ready for bed when suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to vote!!!!!!" Then I sat down on the floor.

1. I hope people remember to bring cookies!
2. Heroes was pretty good!
3. I will be voting today, of course!