Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sugar Laced with Drugs. Or Nutmeg.

I will tell you this:

Martha Stewart is a tease.
She releases these cupcake liners as part of her craft line:

They are wonderful and adorable and I love them.

But she releases no mini cupcake liners?
What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?!:

I guess I'll bake with them. But I will not be happy about it. I will instead blog about how unhappy I am about it. The I will recount the blogging in the the blog. UGH. So much bloooooooooog.

Here is a still life for you:

I shall title it: I have to go watch Top Chef at Melanie's house and didn't get the majority of my baking done (Fuck!). So I shall precariously balance a baking pan with two biscotti loaves covered in parchment paper atop my 5 lb tub of chunky no salt added peanut butter. And I shall balance a bowl of unbaked muffin batter atop carrots and celery. And I shall run out the door, diet coke in hand, and drive towards the Bravo reality show I watch only because Project Runway isn't on.

That title is too long but entirely accurate.

Now, I would like to introduce you to my trusty cake tester:

I wonder if that's what Martha uses?

Ooof. Look at those blueberries. I will admit to eating one of the mini muffins this evening. For the good of the people. And my stomach. Blueberries are as good in muffins and scones and pancakes as they are person. DELICIOUS. This is true for all berries except blackberries. Blackberries are fucking tasty in baked goods but even better outside of them. When blackberries get baked they just get lazy and everything makes them laugh and then, suddenly, your snacks have been devoured and there are crumbs all over your bean bag chair. OR they lose a little of their delicious tartness that I love so dearly.

Oh! By the way, these muffins are not laced with drugs. I sprinkled a little sugar & nutmeg on top of them before baking. At least, that's what I'll tell the cops.

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