Cookie Tuesday!

Hello Brian.

2009-04-15T23:27:00.002-05:00

Pre-Chicago Blogotron:

Melanie (http://socksandrocks.blogspot.com/), Cherish (http://bittersweetlane-cherish.blogspot.com/) and myself (I'm not doing this) are going to Chicago on Friday for Melanie's birfday!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no pre-photos for this because it has not happened yet.

Back from the Dead, Part Deux

2009-03-04T23:56:00.013-06:00

Hello to those that supply me with girl scout cookies.
Hello to those that don't understand what I just said.
HELLO WORLD!!!

So, I'm going to school, I'm going to work, I'm eating, I'm sleeping, I'm going to bars, I'm trying to drink more water, I'm in the studio a lot, I fixed the buttons on my brown jacket, I need to clean my room and my feet are cold.

Anyways,

Pictures!!!

Here is a picture of some beautiful, delicious, and seriously dense homemade pizza (made not by me):

And here is my best attempt at making a football shaped loaf of french bread for the Superbowl:

I promise not to be such a stranger. I also promise to help old ladies cross streets. Peace out bitches!

Back From The Dead.

2009-01-07T20:50:00.000-06:00

After finishing the semester, getting through the holidays, working a butt load, and finally getting some sleep.
And after uploading 463 photos a few days ago, then uploading 202 of those to flickr and of course titling, tagging, and organizing those...

I am finally ready to blog!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, life update:

-I finished my first semester back with one A (drawing), two Bs (french and history of rock & roll) and a B- (biology)
-On Monday, the 12th, I start spring semester. I'm significantly more excited about this one:
-Advanced Drawing (Naked People)
-Painting
-Photography
-Ethics
-Social Psychology
-I'm working a lot less this month which is good for my sanity and sleep schedule but bad for my bank account.
-On May 19th I will be flying to Hawaii for 5 days to visit my brother. HAWAII FOR 5 DAYS. I'm fairly excited about this, obviously. HAWAII.
-One of my roommates, Cherish, is broken and the other one, Melanie, is illin' right now. I am afraid for my health.

Commence photos:

Chocolate Milk TORNADO!

2009-01-07T19:11:00.005-06:00

I received a Chocolate Milk Tornado for Christmas. Jealous? I bet.

Less than shiny, not very new anymore Macbook!

2009-01-07T19:02:00.003-06:00

The time had come to devirginize my compy:

Besides, don't we all just want peace among the robots and the dinosaurs? OBVIOUSLY YES.

Cherish's Birthday was 8 Million Years Ago!!!!

2009-01-07T18:57:00.002-06:00

And here are pictures from it!!!

For her birthday I made a chocolate cake with peanut butter cream cheese frosting and some chocolate sprinkles for a little extra jazziness. I also, of course, put an accurate number of rather exciting candles on it. Then came fire.

Eyeballs.

2008-12-02T15:42:00.004-06:00

Our final project in my drawing class is this:
Choose 5 drawings we have done in class and finish them.
Make 5 entirely new drawings of whatever we choose.

For the 5 new drawings I decided to draw some of my photographs. In theory this seemed like a most excellent idea considering I lack any ability to pull stuff right out of my head. (Also, that would hurt.) In practice this is making my eyeballs explode. Actually choosing 5 photos out of my 7,000?

Here is the one I have picked so far:

I started this drawing in class today and proceeded to smudge charcoal all over my shiny white macbook. Awesome.

Here is another I'm 90% sure I'm going to pick:

I'm trying to choose photos that have a lot of clear detail and are not lame.

Eeeeevil.

2008-11-19T22:27:00.005-06:00

Okay, so picture Mr. Boots here with goggles and a lab coat. Halloween next year, buddy! Evil Scientist!

Cherish is doing some sort of experiment and has called upon Mr. Boots to bring her her test tubes and lab coat. I'm pretty sure her experiment involves embroidery thread, though. So, whatever experiment involves embroidery thread AND test tubes makes me a little nervous. I want no apart in this!

So, about that stick...

2008-11-18T20:38:00.004-06:00

In art class today we had to attach a sturdy drawing utensil to the end of our stick then pair up with someone and draw their portrait holding the opposite end of the stick.

This task was unreasonably upsetting.

I am aware that I have control issues, my teacher even pointed it out today, so that's part of why I freaked out today but it's obviously more than that. I've been sincerely starting to burn out lately, especially in my drawing class. My teacher is seriously excellent and partially to blame. I mean, he teaches as though we are all artists, and he brings up excellent topics relating to our artistic growth which has made me get a little emotional lately.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what I want with my art and where I want to go with it, as in how I want to develop my personal style. I don't really know how I draw. I've been trying to figure it out but I've just been having a fucking hard time dealing with it.

At one point in class today I was getting so frustrated trying to figure out where to go with my drawing that when my piece of charcoal broke in half at the end of my stick I threw my stick on the ground and walked away.
This is me seriously overreacting and having a mini-breakdown.

Oof. This emotional crap is boring me. I'm hungry.

Fort Polio and other things.

2008-11-17T21:19:00.008-06:00

1. Here's my sort of kind of portfolio:

2. I'm a little embarrassed by how much I enjoy doing inventory at the shoe shop.
3. So, I haven't uploaded too much recently because I haven't taken too many photographs lately but any feedback over here on my flickr would be truly appreciated! I actually mean this!
4. I need to make a stencil of something, ANYTHING, for my drawing class tomorrow. For class last Thursday we were supposed to bring in:
-A stick the length of our right leg
-A few sheets of different colored paper
-A stencil of something
Most of the people in my class brought none of these things so we did another stick related activity but now tomorrow is our actual stick, etc drawing day. And I did in fact make a stencil for class last week but my teacher told me to make a new one that wasn't so half-assed and actually had something to do with my drawing aesthetic. So here I am, trying to think of how the fuck to do this. Last week the dude that sits next to me in class busted out his fucking nuts stencil and I'm supposed to compete with that? No, actually, it's drawing class so I'm not supposed to compete with that but I can't help but want to. Then his drawing was also fucking nuts. Ugh.
5. We're watching kare11 right now and they're doing this story about a guy who drives trucks to construction sites and has a duck as his friendly copilot. This is really bothering me. I'm sick of this fucking duck. WHY IS THIS STORY REAL AND ON THE NEWS?

Stupid ducks and stupid stencils.

HOLY FUCK.

2008-11-06T21:23:00.002-06:00

Blizzard Warning for Pennington Co Plains, SD

until 11 pm MST, Thu., Nov. 6, 2008

Rapid City, SD
8:08 pm MST, Thu., Nov. 6, 2008

... BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 11 PM MST THIS EVENING... ... WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 AM MST FRIDAY...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN RAPID CITY HAS ISSUED A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY FOR BLOWING SNOW... WHICH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 AM MST FRIDAY. A BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 11 PM MST THIS EVENING.

NORTHWEST WINDS AVERAGING 25 TO 40 MPH WITH GUSTS TO 50 MPH WILL SLOWLY SUBSIDE TONIGHT. BLIZZARD CONDITIONS THIS EVENING WILL GIVE WAY TO AREAS OF BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW... REDUCING VISIBILITIES. LITTLE TO NO NEW SNOWFALL IS EXPECTED.

A BLIZZARD WARNING MEANS AN EXTREME WINTER STORM WITH SNOW... BLOWING SNOW... STRONG WINDS... AND DANGEROUS WHITEOUT CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING.

So, my Whitman clan is celebrating christmas this weekend in SoDak. Mom, Chuck and I were supposed to leave at 8 am tomorrow morning. A slight wrench has been thrown into the works in the form of a FUCKING BLIZZARD that has closed I-90 from Mitchell into Wyoming.

My grandpa is an expert at weather and roads. His credentials: truck driver, avid weather channel watcher. My grandpa's theory is that given the direction the storm is heading in and the way the winds are blowing it should be clear enough for us to head out around 10 am tomorrow.

As Melanie said, my family will be having a white christmas this year.

SERIOUSLY,

2008-11-04T07:10:00.003-06:00

VOTE A BUNCH.

Actually, vote just the once.

I guess we should stick to the rules.

I will probably bloggitybloggityblog this evening when I get home from class around 8:30 and can finally devote myself to ravenously watching and reading everything about any results. Hopefully it will be joyous blogging. FINGERS CROSSED.

ZOMBIE

2008-11-03T20:10:00.001-06:00

I'm back and not necessarily better than ever but certainly not worse.

2008-10-30T16:35:00.001-05:00

YO!!! I finally uploaded the several bajillion photos sitting patiently in my camera waiting for the arrival of my new macbook. So, here goes:

Something exciting: Tomorrow is Halloweeeeeeeeeeen!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend I will post photos of Melanie & Cherish's pumpkins as well as mine if I get around to carving it. I'm going to be a bloody mess of a zombie tomorrow and I'm baking cookies. I will post photos of both my undead self and my undead baking as well.

DRESS UP tomorrow! It's super fun and you totally want to even if you won't admit it.

WARNING: This might be lame.

2008-10-22T20:56:00.006-05:00

Right now I am blogging about a dream I had last night. This is probably going to bore you but I have been thinking about this dream all day long and I must blog it before I forget it! There is no other choice!

Let me set the stage:

A commune on an island a ferry ride away from the mainland of a coastal state (I am skeptical that this island is actually in existance).

A large tract of land housing vegetable gardens, chicken coops, wildflower fields, wheat fields, fruit trees, berry bushes, and a small brewery.

Built into a large hillside is a three story home. Inside this home are lots of fantastic mid century modern pieces of furniture, heavy oak kitchen tables and counters, lots of vintage stylings and approximately 12 bedrooms decorated to the taste of the inhabitant.

To be sure, there are additional buildings however the only one my brain can seem to

remember is the stylish but cozy home where we drank our tasty smoothies and housed our library.

For breakfast there are delicious smoothies and scrambled eggs.

For lunch there are sandwiches with freshly baked bread surrounding just-out-of-the-garden vegetables.

For dinner there are courses of fresh salads, home-made pastas, vegetable stir-fries, and rustic fruit desserts.

There are windmills and solar panels providing all the energy needed to commune.

In this commune are several dozen people all living together, drinking smoothies together, reading classics together, growing shit together and generally being all cooperative. Not only are they being all cooperative they are also having lively and enjoyable conversations. These

people who are having interesting conversations while hanging out by the chicken coop drinking home-brewed beer are, for the most part, people I know in my real non-dream life.

SERIOUSLY.

We are all hanging out in a commune, picking wildflowers and drinking tasty beer. We are having exciting conversations, reading books, making fucking tasty smoothies, and sitting in attractive furnishings.

WHAT THE FUCK.

When I explained this dream to Melanie and Cherish Melanie reminded me of a previous commune dream I had with people I know in my non-dream realm. However, there are a couple of key differences between these commune dreams:

1. In my most recent commune dream there was no spaghetti throwing by catty bitches.

2. In my most recent commune dream we were all way more stylish.

3. In my most recent commune dream we lived in nice bedrooms with decent furniture and cool lamps, not dorm-ish style rooms with institutional cinder block walls and ugly composite board desks.

4. In my most recent commune dream we had a fucking brewery!!!

I'll be honest, this commune was actually pretty sweet. We were all friends who did nice things for one another and said nice things to each other. Everything ran as smoothly as you could hope, we all shared the responsibility as well as the spoils. We had a motherfucking brewery, yo!

I have no problem with fresh fruits and vegetables, tasty beer and attractive furnishings. I don't have any plans in the works filed under 'Communes I'm thinking about joining" but something could have been misfiled, I guess.

Oh man, I bet the skies are always blue in our beer filled commune world.

I'm Back! (And Better Than EVER)

2008-10-21T14:23:00.006-05:00

What you see here are words that have been typed on my brand spanking new macbook. I am pretty sure the words are shinier, right?

Anways, after being the lamest blogger in history for the last several months I will now be turning it all around! So, be prepared for really, really, ridiculously fucking huge and massive awesomeness to come, okay?

Here is a taste:

(Taken with photo booth, a brand new to me feature!)

The cover of my graphic novel:

The best part is that I am totally looking at the title. It's not really there, because this graphic novel doesn't exist, but if it did? Oh man. Totally the cover.

And what every other person ever who has photo booth probably did immediately:

I know, I know, I'm sorry but how could I not?!

Anyways, these are boring because they are just me in front of an institutional wall. There will be way more exciting photos to come as soon as I upload the bajillion photos I have on my camera right now. That will be better.

Peace out dudes!

Broke Down Computer.

2008-10-13T08:34:00.003-05:00

My laptop has cracked up. So, for the time being, I am using Melanie's and/or library computers at school. What this means is that I won't be uploading pictures for the time being making it much harder to be a wicked awesome blogger.

Dark days are ahead.

Prez.

2008-09-26T21:27:00.004-05:00

So, who else is watching the debate right now?
(Probably, hopefully, a lot of you.)

1. John McCain is older than dust.
2. His smugness is driving me crazy.
3. Obama's voice is very soothing, making me a little less angry about Raisin McCain's bitch face. Thank goodness.
4. I should start keeping a Reagan Reference tally. Geez.
5. McCain isn't flexible, he can't even lift his arms! Cherish refuses to vote for someone who can't raise their arms. I think this is fair.

Living in a collage.

2008-09-08T13:59:00.000-05:00

My first order of business is a matter of clarification: Cookie Tuesday is dead and buried but this blog is not! I like to listen to myself talk (read myself write?) way too much to let that happen. My ego needs the sweet caress a blog brings.

My second order of business is a matter of excitement!: I finally started hanging things up in my room and it is awesome! I feel like I live inside of my collage. I also have cleared out nearly all of the bins and boxes taking up 1/3 of my bedroom space. This too is exciting but not nearly as exciting as finally having my little Clint Eastwood photo that I rescued from Goodwill for 99 cents up on the wall along with my Night of the Living Dead poster and the old records my brother and I painted. Now prepare yourself for way too many pictures of my room:

Ugh. These photos are fucking grainy. It was at night, right around 9:15 according to the eight million clocks featured in a number of these photos, and my overhead light is obviously sub-par. My camera really isn't this shitty, honest! But my walls really are green, honest!

It should be known that I like clocks far too much. A result of that love is the accumulation of at least 8 clocks. It's not so bad spread out in this new place but in my last little studio? My apartment ticked. Oh! This is also the only photo I have of my new curtains, and it is only sort of a photo of my curtains. But they are awesome. My moms sewed them for me. The top of this one looks weird because I have it folded up above my AC unit, normally it looks even more awesome than this. And, obviously, my room would include a little Johnny Cash. OBVIOUSLY.

Did I mention that I have slopey walls on two sides of my room? This proved to be a bit of a decorating challenge but I feel like I triumphed. On this side at least. The other side is above my bed so my plan is to hang up a nice fabric panel. (P.S. Check the X Files poster! I am proud of that cheap ebay find for sure.)

This is one of my favorite clocks! Oh, I do love clocks. Also, my first license plate. That fish hanging on the hook will probably not stay there, that would be too ridiculous, but for now he has a home there.

A little dresser view. Another one of my favorite clocks, a mini tray from a certain Cape Cod road trip and in the cubby below the mirror you can see my most ridiculous necklace featuring a cow behind a half-door. This half-door actually flips open to reveal a farmer milking said cow. It was my grandpa's.A small sub-section of my hat collection, these are some of the more practical hats. Also some of Melanie's artwork!!!! (Upper right).

My third order of business is a matter of excitement as well, although a little bit lamer than the last: I got a job!!! This is indeed a good thing. I was nearly to the point of putting on that red light. It's 3 blocks away which is also a good thing. And I will have a source of income which is sincerely a GOOD THING. I have very few skills so I lucked out pretty seriously.

My fourth order of business is, naturally, a matter of excitement!: I am making a few cookies today for some very special people at my former place of employment. Prepare accordingly.

My fifth and final order of business is simply this:

Peace out mofos!

2008-08-28T17:27:00.001-05:00

I'm moving on up. Or out. I'm not sure I'd say unemployed student is up from steadily employed pseudo-adult. But I finally got a piece of the pie!

I started school on Monday. These are my classes:

Exploring Biology: Insanely frantic liberal professor. I enjoy him because he is funny and we have very similar views. I imagine this class might be uncomfortable for any serious republicans or religious folks, though. He yells about a lot things.

Drawing: We had to do two drawings of some sunflowers my teacher brought in on Tuesday, one on black paper and one on white. My white drawing ended up looking fairly boss but I totally fucked up my black drawing. When I was about halfway into totally fucking it up my teacher came over and told me these things: stop second guessing myself, stop worrying so much, stop drinking so much coffee. It was pretty constructive advice except for the last bit.

History of Rock & Roll: Nerdiest teacher ever!!! We had to go around the whole class and say our name and desert island album but he set it up in the most ridiculous way possible: Imagine you're on a plane! In order to get to your destination you must fly over some tropical island region! While flying over said region the plane starts to crash! As the plane is ripping to shreds you manage to grab your iPod but your clumsy fingers delete all but one album! Because your fingers are clumsy but also intelligent the one album they didn't delete is this...! Also, tell everyone your name.
When I was telling this to Melanie she said it sounded like something I would say. Which is probably true.

French: Bonjour! I learned some Frenchy things.

Blah blah blah.

Anyways!!!

RIP Cookie Tuesday. These Shasmabons were my swan song:

Oh, how delicious you are Shasmabons. Oh, how you make me feel crazy when people ask about you name and I explain that it's a unicorn name.

I went to an X Files party a few weeks ago. It was awesome. I made Black Oil Worm Cupcakes:

And Alien Macaroons:

Nothing else is baking related.

It kind of feels like summer is dead now. Maybe that storm last night killed it? Either way I'm okay with it. Autumn means my birfday!!! Hi ho Silver awaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Love Letter to St. Paul

2008-07-30T06:22:00.009-05:00

I have compiled a photographic love letter to St. Paul. This is instead of packing for my move to Minneapolis. I have also made myself macaroni & cheese but this is unrelated.

Oh St. Paul, I think Whitney Houston said it best, "I will always love you."

Walker on the Green!

2008-07-26T14:44:00.007-05:00

Approximately one million years ago Melanie, Cherish, Calvin and I played a little game I like to call mini golf at a little place I like to call The Walker.

And then we went somewhere wonderful. The Franklin Freeze.

I got black cherry soft serve on a cake cone and it was bitchin'. In case you were wondering.

French and non-French things.

2008-07-13T15:02:00.006-05:00

Hey! I actually made cookies last week!Shortbread thumbprints with cherry preserves. I don't particularly love shortbread but I do love things that are easy. And these cookies are.
Then I made some french bread and whole wheat no knead bread......for our Bastille Day celebration!

Bonjour delicious crepes that Melanie crafted!
And these ladies are quite obviously French.
I will warn you of this: Never put a beret on when your hair is still wet. When you eventually un-French yourself that evening your hair will look like something was living in it and had made a nice little nest of a home for itself.

This has nothing to do with cookies.

2008-07-09T23:57:00.001-05:00

I haven't uploaded any photos I've taken in the last few weeks, including coooookies, because I am full of lazy bones. So here is something else:

The Ultimate Trick.

2008-06-24T22:33:00.008-05:00

Here is the ultimate trick: You make some tasty vegan (oh no!) cookies, bring them into your office, feed them to your people and don't tell them they're vegan! You wait until they've chewed and declared them yummy then you exclaim that they are, in fact, way too healthy for them to even be cookies.

Oh! Also, this past weekend was the glorious ChuckFest at my cabin. I took at least one million photos. Then I uploaded a significantly pared down selection to my flickr!

Oh Macaroon.

2008-06-16T22:37:00.004-05:00

Chocolate Macaroooooooooooons!

I am fairly certain these are pretty tasty. I melted semisweet chocolate and 100% cocoa unsweetened chocolate into the batter. So, it's rich and chocolatey without being too sweet. Also I can't think of a way for chocolate and coconut to not be delicious.

And now I want to show you something I love:

My mom and dad got these as a wedding gift. Obviously, they got married in the 70s. Obviously, these Pyrex mixing bowls are awesome. My mom gave these to me when I moved out mostly because I love them and use them frequently. Also, unsurprisingly, she isn't too sentimental about them considering the way their marriage ended up. I profit from others' misfortune!

While baking those macaroons I watched this movie:

The Motel!

I also kept thinking I heard the timer beeping and I would run out to the kitchen in a bit of a panic only to see 3 minutes left. I preferred watching the movie to running around in a panic. Weird.

Similar to Magic.

2008-06-02T22:12:00.011-05:00

Baking is similar to magic because it turns this:

Into this:

Also, Melanie made a quiche for book club that was mighty delicious.

More importantly, my oven is beeping at me and I don't want these cookies to get burned, dude!

Black Forest.

2008-05-26T21:41:00.007-05:00

I made Black Forest cookies tonight. But first!

I'm pretty excited about all these dandelions.

I guess I'm excited about these cookies, too:

2 cups all purpose flour
4 T unsweetened cocoa powder
2 t baking powder
1 t salt
8 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped
2 sticks unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
4 eggs
1 package semisweet chocolate chips
2 cups dried cherries
1 cup dried blueberries

Melt chopped chocolate & butter. Mix in sugars then eggs.
Sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Add to chocolate mixture.
Fold in chocolate chips and dried berries.
Put plastic wrap on top & fridge it for 30-40 minutes.
Drop 'em and bake at 350 for 11ish minutes.
Eat them. They are pretty good.

Oh man, I am glad it is finally nice outside and the dandies are back. This world is better than our January world for certain.

Too Delicious.

2008-05-19T23:39:00.001-05:00

I have a huge problem making coconut macaroons. They are way too delicious. They are too delicious in all forms:
1) Before you even mix that stuff together, oh man! I am a coconut fan.
2) Before you even bake that stuff it is awesomely delicious. It is also awesomely stomachache inducing if you have too much dough.
3) After you bake them they are, of course, deliciously crispy and light.

4) And after you dip them in semisweet chocolate? I think you get the point.
TOO DELICIOUS.

And this now has nothing to do with cookies!

Every year I plant the window box below the adorable blue window of the sauna room up at my cabin. Last weekend was window box time:

I would've taken a photo after I actually planted it but my camera died. I will tell you that it looked awesome, though. And I will tell you that I will be sure to take a photo of it when I'm back up there in a month or so for ChuckFest. By then it will be looking even more stylish I bet.

I also planted this at the cabin:

This is the friendly city flamingo, Rhonda. She is now the friendly cabin flamingo and experiencing dirt for the first time since she was gifted to me 4 years ago. I think she will be happy there.

Sugar Laced with Drugs. Or Nutmeg.

2008-05-14T22:44:00.010-05:00

I will tell you this:

Martha Stewart is a tease.
She releases these cupcake liners as part of her craft line:

They are wonderful and adorable and I love them.

But she releases no mini cupcake liners?
What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?!:

I guess I'll bake with them. But I will not be happy about it. I will instead blog about how unhappy I am about it. The I will recount the blogging in the the blog. UGH. So much bloooooooooog.

Here is a still life for you:

I shall title it: I have to go watch Top Chef at Melanie's house and didn't get the majority of my baking done (Fuck!). So I shall precariously balance a baking pan with two biscotti loaves covered in parchment paper atop my 5 lb tub of chunky no salt added peanut butter. And I shall balance a bowl of unbaked muffin batter atop carrots and celery. And I shall run out the door, diet coke in hand, and drive towards the Bravo reality show I watch only because Project Runway isn't on.

That title is too long but entirely accurate.

Now, I would like to introduce you to my trusty cake tester:

I wonder if that's what Martha uses?

Ooof. Look at those blueberries. I will admit to eating one of the mini muffins this evening. For the good of the people. And my stomach. Blueberries are as good in muffins and scones and pancakes as they are person. DELICIOUS. This is true for all berries except blackberries. Blackberries are fucking tasty in baked goods but even better outside of them. When blackberries get baked they just get lazy and everything makes them laugh and then, suddenly, your snacks have been devoured and there are crumbs all over your bean bag chair. OR they lose a little of their delicious tartness that I love so dearly.

Oh! By the way, these muffins are not laced with drugs. I sprinkled a little sugar & nutmeg on top of them before baking. At least, that's what I'll tell the cops.

Many Parts.

2008-05-12T21:47:00.009-05:00

Part 1:

A delicious French Stick recipe. Come on. French Stick? That's funny.

Part 2:

Bread & Cheese & Lots of Money.

Part 3:

Spilled cocoa powder looks like blood spatter!

Part 4:

Sometimes I like to not sift the cocoa powder and flour prior to mixing. Then I mix in the cocoa powder first. And then I marvel at the massively chocolatey concoction!

Part 5:

FACT: I am not actually going to bring these cookies in tomorrow. They are simply too delicious. I will be keeping them forever.

Part 6:

I have started sewing my knit rectangles together. Thus far I have approximately 1/5 of a blanket. And it is 1/5 of awesome.

Myanmar Relief

2008-05-09T11:06:00.002-05:00

Burmese Monks:
https://secure.avaaz.org/en/burma_cyclone/77.php
Unicef:
https://secure2.convio.net/unicef/site/Donation2?df_id=3401&3401.donation=form1
Red Cross:
http://american.redcross.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ntld_myanmar_0508

C is for Cookie!

2008-05-06T18:23:00.007-05:00

And that's good enough for me.

Also, if I keep actually cooking myself real food for dinner it will almost be like I am sort of taking care of myself in a somewhat healthy way! This will take some getting used to. Some delicious getting used to.

Most importantly, though, is this:

Cince de Mayo was actually Delicious de Awesome. Just so you are aware.

Cuatro de Mayo

2008-05-04T21:14:00.008-05:00

is today. But tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo which generally merits more of a party.

So I made guacamole and cilantro lime salsa:

I also made some citrus bars:

Citrus bars in no way relate to this cultural celebration but who doesn't like citrus bars? Crazy people.

Sub-question: Is it unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins? Is it better to burn out or fade away?

I say that in my head all the time. Whenever I am moving on to a new subject I always think to myself "Sub-question!!!" I am not really sure why this happens.

The point is, new subject!

For an entirely different celebration on an entirely different day I made a rustic fruit tart:

Blackberries, raspberries and early season peaches!!! Fact: This is something delicious.

I never thought this would actually happen in my life.

2008-04-29T19:30:00.004-05:00

I actually cooked dinner for myself. As in, cooking that was not prompted by someone's birthday or a social gathering. Stove time that was over 30 minutes. Two burners. (TWO BURNERS!)

I am kind of lame, as you may know, the most cooking I ever do is noodles, noodles, rice and noodles. So cooking actual poultry with, you know, liquid stuff that turns into a real actual glaze is pretty big news.

Chicken with a soy sauce, mirin & ginger glaze on a bed of (you guessed it!) noodles:

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Geez! Chicken & pasta and a glass of orange juice for dinner? That sure does sound delicious but where are the fucking vegetables?!" Well, I will have you know that while cooking I ate eighteen thousand pounds of sliced cucumber with chunks of cheddar cheese. This is because cucumber & cheddar is perhaps the most delicious combination EVER.

"THUMB PRINTS"

2008-04-28T22:52:00.007-05:00

This was seen on the "community" "bulletin" "board" "above" the "mail" "boxes" in my "building".

Now for something far more delicious, the almond semolina cake I made for book club on Sunday:

I feel a little ridiculous calling it a cake because that seems to imply far more work than this actually required. But the interwebs calls it cake so it is cake!

And now what you really came here for! (It's okay that it's for the cookies and not for me, don't feel bad. But don't feel too good, I'm not that well adjusted.)
Shortbread thumb print cookies with tripleberry preserves in the center and semisweet chocolate drizzled on top. I am 8000% certain I say this every single week but I am not entirely sure about these cookies. Blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. People will eat them. Hopefully a couple of bucks will be donated. Next week will come and I will make new cookies I am not sure about. It is like the circle of life except my dad is not a dead lion.

Melanie's Birthday Fest.

2008-04-24T21:23:00.006-05:00

Why hello there!

Perhaps, at this very moment, you are saying to yourself, "Geez, whatsherface's birthday fest is this evening and I don't have but a spare 45 minutes. That's certainly not enough time to bake a cake. I wish there was something I could do!"

WISH GRANTED.

May I present to you: The 'I Didn't Have Time To Bake' Cake

Multiple tiers of awesomeness. Peanut butter cups & Reese's pieces. Too Delicious.

Aerial View!!!

So there.

Happy birthday last Wednesday Melanie!!!

BRINNER!!!

2008-04-22T20:49:00.006-05:00

I feel like I must tell you about something I truly, deeply love. That thing is BRINNER!

The only thing that could make this meal any better would be a tiny ribbon of ketchup on that egg white omelet. I feel like this is one of my most Midwestern moments. Eggs & Ketchup & Cinnamon Raisin Bread. Brinner is a beautiful thing. It is also deliciously unhealthy. Well, not entirely unhealthy. Just look at that orange juice! No scurvy for me!

Also, Melanie's idea of making a lobster cookie spectacular for Cookie Tuesday today proved to be a most excellent one. The tablescape was wicked pissah!

Do you feel like you are totally in the ocean right now? I KNOW.

P.S. I take back everything I said about my brinner (except for the scurvy part). I added too much pepper to my omelet and now feel like vomit. Brinner could be a wonderful thing. It should be a wonderful thing. I am just complete garbage when it comes to cooking.

Peace out yo! I've got waffle batter to beat!

Mr. Sanding Sugar S. Lobster, Esquire.

2008-04-21T23:28:00.011-05:00

These are slightly deformed lobster sugar cookies. The cookie cutter is entirely adorable and wonderful but, of course, when you bake stuff it's shape changes slightly. These turned into mermaids with 'roid arms or perhaps someone with a billowy shirt on singing one of those jesus tunes like they show on the Time Life CD commercials.

Deformed or not these are pretty tasty. For sugar cookies.

I am going to create an entirely wonderful tablescape tomorrow!!!! I washed off some shells, rocks and beach glass which I will bring in for around the cookie tray. Also, Melanie suggested I print off some oceanic views to lay around the table. Basically it will be our vacation in delicious cookie form!!!

Here are my shells being cleansed:

Also, I will share this with you:
Rolled out cookie dough feels awesome under a floured hand. If you are a person who is similar to me, at least.

One last thing:

No Kitchen Sinks Were Harmed.

2008-04-07T21:09:00.007-05:00

Well, only a few kitchen sinks were harmed in the making of these Kitchen Sink Cookies. But, to be fair, they were fucking jerks and had it coming.

I am optimistic about these cookies. Oatmeal, semisweet chocolate chips, dried cranberries and dried blueberries = delicious. FACT.

April Fools.

2008-03-31T22:14:00.004-05:00

Surprise! There's peanut butter inside those cookies! I fooled you in a most delicious way!

Let me tell you what these cookies are:
Okay, think of something awesome. Now realize that these cookies are better than that. These cookies are nearly too delicious. They are like those kids you went to school with that were really awesome. But they were so awesome that they kind of bugged the shit out of you. Not so much that you didn't want to be friends with them but enough that you were always like, "Fuck! Why are they so awesome? God damn. I am annoyed in an angsty teenage way!" Right?

Approximately 0 people are totally like, "Yeah! I know exactly what you mean!" and everyone else is like "Shut the fuck up, Laura!"

Holy Blogging Batman!

2008-03-27T20:11:00.011-05:00

This is exactly what I was worried about upon receiving my shiny new camera: Serial blogging. Well, spree blogging is probably the more accurate term. A rash of blogs within in a short time period. My new camera, of course, being the trigger. I watch too many crime dramas.

Now, let us enter a magical world where few have walked:
MY KITCHEN. WORD.

Hello Table!

Hello Questionable Birds!
Hello Various Spices!

Hello Fucking Wonderful Bourbon Vanilla!!!

Hello Plastic Cow Whose Original Purpose I Am Unsure Of But Has Become My Personal Kitchen Mascot!

Hello Beautiful Butter Dish!

Hello Sifter!

Hello Microwave Topped With A Variety Of Flours!

Hello Gigantic Wall Drug Magnet!

Hello Attractive New Kitchen Towels!

Hello Adorable Vintage Jars Filled With My Most Favorite Utensils!

Goodbye!

Break It Down...

2008-03-27T12:13:00.004-05:00

Stop! Camera Time!

I will tell you folks a fact: I have never referenced MC Hammer lyrics in my whole bloggy mcblogosphere blog life.

The point: I bought a bitchin' camera.

What this means for you: Delicious baked goods will once again grace your computer screens!!!

Get excited mofos!

2008-03-07T09:35:00.002-06:00

Leapophile.

2008-03-01T20:43:00.007-06:00

No, your eyes do not deceive you. Those are indeed SUPERMAN CUPCAKES.

Leap Day was Superman's earth birthday. Antonio Sabato Jr, Dennis Farina, Ja Rule, and the founder of Shakerism also celebrated the day of their birth.

So, in honor of the spandex clad man I made some cupcakes. 42 cupcakes.

I also baked rosemary bread for the Caesar spread Melanie set up. Caesar did not wear spandex or a cape, nor did he fly through the sky. What he did do was start Leap Day. That is a feat of an entirely different sort but a feat no less.

How good does that table look? I know! Also, it was a considerably delicious meal. Delicious.
That punch was not only delicious, it was also very good looking. And looks are the most important thing. At least, that is the word on the street. What the kids are saying.

Here is my decently tasty rosemary bread. My first successful kneaded bread. Hooray for bread! Hooray for Superman! Less hoorays for hearing my upstairs neighbors having sex. The bad thing about having a bed on wheels is that my neighbors also have beds on wheels. This makes noise. Squeaky, loud noises. Especially on wood floors. If this were Project Runway right now Christian would totally be giggling about their sex noises right now. Also, if this were Project Runway that would be awesome.

Cut to sliced bread:

The House of the Rising Bread

2008-02-19T20:03:00.003-06:00

So, I'm pretty sure this bread is lookin' good. I am also pretty sure it will be delicious with a variety of soups tomorrow. Hooray for bread!

Red Orbs & The Bread Also Rises: A Baking Tale in Two Parts

2008-02-18T22:42:00.006-06:00

Welcome back, me! I finally had the two things I needed to make a cookie-tastic blog:
1) my camera
2) will power

Let's get to it!

First of all, for the entire month of February we have been collecting donations for KS95's Change for Kids program. We had a bomb bake sale last week that raised $300. We've had a waffle wednesday and will be having another. Also, we're having a Leap Day party which we will be collecting donations during. So, hooray for people giving money to change the spawn of the world.

For Cookie Tuesday tomorrow I was going to make Petrelli's (chocolate cookie with peanut butter chips & coconut) however I did not have any shortening. This was a traumatic event. Not once in my Cookie Tuesday history have I had to change my baking plans due to an ingredient shortage. To be honest with you, it's a miracle I am still alive.
I furiously flipped through my myriad cookie books to find something that I not only had the ingredients for but also sounded delicious. I settled on jelly thumbprints. Now, I used preserves instead of jelly because of these reasons:
1) I made Loreos with cream cheese & raspberry preserve filling for the bake sale last week and had at least a cup of preserves left over
2) Preserves are superior to jelly
So they're basically shortbread cookies with raspberry preserves baked into the center of them. Also, I just decided at this very moment that I must sift confectioner's sugar over top of them because that will make them more delicious AND more beautious. Win.

2 sticks unsalted butter
2 eggs
1 1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups flour
1/2 cup raspberry preserves
confectioner's sugar for dusting

1. Mix sugar and butter together. Add eggs.
2. Sift in dry ingredients.
3. Roll dough into balls and drop onto cookie sheet. Make thumbprints in each dough ball. Drop raspberry preserves into the center of each.
4. Bake 10-12 minutes at 350.
5. Sift confectioner's sugar on top if you want to be awesome!

These photos do not reflect the confectioner's sugar because I haven't actually added it yet, what they do reflect is the eerie red orb/alien petrie dish growth these cookies resemble when the flash is on:

With the flash off it does not truly encapsulate the rich berry appearance but it, at least, doesn't look like an extraterrestrial embryo or something else x filesy:

I would love to tell you all about how wonderful my 3 tiered cooling rack is but I get this feeling that no one actually cares. I care! But no one else. I will tell you anyways, but briefly: It is fucking awesome!

Now I will tell you about my yeast escapades! YUCK. I am talking about bread. YUCK. I am honestly talking about bread. That was pretty yuck even for me.
I decided to start making bread because it is excellent. I thought the best way to do this would be to make no-knead bread because you don't even have to knead it! Cheez whiz!
So, this past weekend I whipped up a loaf of whole wheat no-knead bread and it was fucking delicious. TASTY. Now, this Wednesday we're having some soup potluck bullshit at work which ordinarily I would not participate in seeing as how I cannot make soup or most other non-baked things. However!!! there is an obvious need for bread with soup. I will fill that need. With another load of no-knead bread.

Here is a little no-knead ditty just for you!

2 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 tsp instant yeast
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cup water

Mix those bad boys together and then cover with plastic wrap and let sit 12-18 hours. 18 hours is ideal. Make it 18 hours.

At the 18 hour mark flour a work surface and place the dough onto it. Sprinkle the dough with flour and fold it a couple of times then place plastic wrap over top of it and let is sit about 15 minutes. After 15 minutes has passed sprinkle your hands and the dough with just enough flour to keep it from sticking to you and form it into a ball. Then place it seam side down on a cotton towel with a decent coat of rice flour on it. Put another cotton towel over top and let it rise for 2 hours.

At least 1/2 hour before the dough is ready preheat the oven with a 4 quart metal, glass or ceramic pot with lid inside.

After the 2 hours is up slide your hand underneath the towel and flip the dough into the pot. Place the lid on top and bake for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes is up remove the lid and bake an additional 10-15 minutes until the top is browned.

Eat some right away as it will be crazy delicious.

That photo above is of my just mixed dough. I will post a photo of the finished product tomorrow evening. Start preparing yourself right now.

Peace out mofos!

Hooray!!!

2008-01-14T21:52:00.001-06:00

This is my first official Cookie Tuesday Bloggy McBlogerson of the new year! Hooray for another year of cookies that are usually pretty good!

Unfortunately my mother is currently holding my camera hostage and has been since Christmas so tonight's blog with be photo-less for the time being. I will take a cookie photog with my disposable camera and perhaps even my fisheye but you won't see those for a while.
I will be as visually descriptive as I can, though!

So, tonight's cookies were really Melanie's brainchild. (Side note: At first I typed branchild rather than brainchild. These mean very different things. I laugh.)
I came up with a (hopefully) tasty execution of them but the theme was all her.

PB&J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made my chunky peanut butter & bittersweet chocolate chunk cookies and folded in small pieces of dehydrated strawberries.
I tried one version first were I just mixed in the strawberries regular-like, which meant there was at least one part of a strawberry on the surface, but discovered quickly that, unless the strawberries remain inside the cookie, they will get darkened and crunchy. They don't really burn, they just look and taste dissatisfactorily. So on my second go I hand-folded 1-3 pieces (depending on strawberry size and cookie size) into the middle of my cookies, then dropped them on the cookie sheet. This way they moisten slightly and also absorb a light peanut butter flavor. So the peanut butter & berry flavors are truly mingling, just like in a PB&J!!!!!!!!!!!

I think these cookies are wonderful. Hopefully other people will too!

In other news,

I have no other news. My life is boring right now. Except for my creepy psycho killer chicken dreams. Those are far from boring. They are un-boring.

I hate 2008.

2008-01-14T11:25:00.001-06:00

I stole Cherish's list idea. I openly admit to stealing it. So, it is not a crime. Just like skateboarding.

I want to do this stuff this year:
(And I want to list numerically although that has no weight on order or importance)
1. Go back to school full time
2. Move out of Minnesota
3. Knit more than a scarf or potholders
4. Catch up on Battlestar Galactica
5. Make my Killer Chicken comic book
6. Make a cook book
7. Start preparing for the 2012 apocalypse
8. Stop working at Merrill
9. Have excellent hair
10. Travel at least a medium amount to sweet places

To Be Continued...

Year End Updatastic!

2007-12-25T07:38:00.001-06:00

Hello Dear Friends,

I have been a slouch when it comes to my recent Cookie Tuesday updates. Partly because they have been boring repeat cookie and partly because I forget everything all the time!

So I will give you an update on the cookies & crafties portion of my life over the last few weeks:

I started knitting 2 or 3 weeks ago and have completed one puny but adorable green fuzzy scarf, one citron scarf that is serious about keeping me warm and covered and that is all. But I am working on another project that will be a (hopefully) wonderful gift for a friend.
I have also started reading way more knitting and crafting blogs which is due in large part to Cherish's recommendations. With all the reading I have come up with a myriad of craft ideas, none of which have actually been started yet. I'm confident I'll get there, though.
My cookies as of late have been relatively boring, some oatmeal something or others, some peanut butter chocolate chunks.
I did make a large batch of oatmeal, dried blueberry & semisweet chocolate cookies that I divvied up and gifted to family members last night. They seemed pretty excited about them, especially since they have been aware of my baking chops for a few years.
And! And! AND! As a Christmas gift I got the heaviest bag ever. That is because it contained:
1 10 lb bag of organic all purpose flour
1 10 lb bag of organic granulated sugar
1 large bag of semisweet chocolate chips
1 silpat mat
I was the most excited about that gift. When I got home last night I was so tired that I just left it in my car. However, if a baking emergency pops up at any point throughout the day and perhaps even tomorrow I will have some supplies!

Holiday Cookie Potluck Hooray!

2007-12-11T21:54:00.001-06:00

Today was tremendously delicious. And I tremendously neglected to photograph any of it.
I made peanut butter blossoms. You know, those peanut butter cookies with a hershey's kiss on top? They were all right, I guess.

The moral of this story is:
1. Cookie potlucks are awesome
2. Peanut butter blossoms are okay

National Cookie Day! Hooray!

2007-12-03T23:35:00.001-06:00

Tuesday is National Cookie Day!!!!!!

In honor of this truly joyous occasion I whipped up a few Loreos. I slipped some mini semisweet chips in the filling in approximately half of the cookies. I was not entirely confident that it was enough of an enhancement to alter the whole batch but I did think it was worth a try.

I had this whole tremendously beautiful plan for my evening:
Stop at the grocery store briefly to grab eggs, butter & cream cheese. Run on home. Mix up the cookies & bake them. Store the cookies. Go to Melanie & Cherish's for the dramatically delicious "Heroes" finale. Run on home. Mix up the cream cheese & powdered sugar filling. Spread between all the cookies. Throw the cookies on a tray. (Do not literally throw the cookies on a tray.) Shove in refridgerator until morning is nigh.

I fucked all this up because I did not take into account the fact that I would not actually do this. I would instead laze around until the "Heroes" finale. Then stop at the grocery store on my way home from their house. Run on home. Mix up the cookies & filling. Etc, etc, etc. So my perpetual procrastination pervades me once again.
But that was some sweet alliteration, huh? Huh? I know it! I was pretty excited about that one.

So my plan for the rest of this evening is this:
Get some motherfucking sleep. I will do my best at this. It will be a valiant attempt no matter the outcome.

In My Experimental Cookie.

2007-11-26T22:40:00.001-06:00

Melanie and I made up these cookies today during a fit of exasperation on my part. This exasperation was due entirely to Melanie's stupid fucking pinball score which I will never ever beat but will keep trying until I kills me. Literally. It will kill me. So we made up some cookies. Chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips & coconut. I decided to add some of those teeny semisweet chips because I had a bag laying around that was about 85% full and I was never going to use 'em. Now it's about 70% full and I will probably never use 'em.

To summarize:
These cookies will be incredibly rich but still delicious.
I will never win at that motherfucking pinball game but I will keep trying until I have a panic attack that manifests as my head actually exploding. It will be messy. And I will still be a loser at that goddamn stupid terrible fucking game.

Thanksgivin'

2007-11-22T20:55:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure if you know this or not but today was Thanksgiving. So, I baked some things. Including oatmeal, dried cranberry, coconut & pecan cookies. You can check out that delicious dough to your left. And it's delicious product below. The delicious product is housed in some of my finest midwestern metal tupperware.

And this evening I baked an apple pie. Hopefully it is a delicious apple pie. It better be fucking delicious because it's not going to win any beauty contests. It's fairly misshapen.

So, basically, happy Thanksgiving peeps. I hope you ate delicious foodstuffs! Perhaps even a more than slightly misshapen apple pie! I can't be the only terrible pie baker in the world.
Oh, man. I feel really inadequate right now. In slightly better news I played a rockin' game of scrabble today.

Ye Old Faithful.

2007-11-19T22:09:00.001-06:00

Being broke means one of two cookie possibilities:
1. Oatmeal something or other
2. Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk
This is because I always have the ingredients on hand for these so I don't have to buy a single thing.
Tonight that meant numero dos!
The PBCCs are back and better than ever!
That's not entirely true. I had one, they're about the same as they usually are. Maybe slightly worse. But whenever I get to feeling down about my cookie outcome I just think about store bought cookies and remember that I'm better than most people, places, and things. Oh, wait! I'm actually just a judgmental elitist. But at least I'm aware of it.

These suckers are easy as all get out:

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 chunky peanut butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 cups all purpose flour
1-1 1/2 cups bittersweet chocolate chunks

Bake 11-12 minutes @ 350.

Cookiesssssssssss!

2007-11-12T22:02:00.001-06:00

This photo showcases my cute silverware, most favorite mid-70s pyrex mixing bowl (it's pea green!) and the best lookin' dough in town. Oatmeal cookies look far better in dough form.

This is a true fact just for you.

And I will argue this point with a photo.
Because that is the only way I know how.
Because I got a C in debate class.
Because I didn't really pay very much attention.
Because I was too busy reading/writing on the haiku corner.
Can you blame me?! Probably.
Should you?! No.

This is almost like blasphemy.

2007-11-11T00:13:00.002-06:00

I am coming to you not on a late Monday evening but instead an early early Sunday morning. And I'm not baking cookies. Oh, no. That scent lurking from the oven is that of biscotti. It smells good and treasonous.

My big brother's birthday was on Thursday. And I am massively tardy in getting my shit together for this one. But I baked him biscotti. Baked goods are my favorite gift to give because it's cheap & easy (like me!).

So I made chocolate biscotti with dried cherries & white chocolate and regular biscotti with bittersweet chocolate and toasted almonds!

And I have no fucking clue as to their deliciousness. Not only will I not be trying one until tomorrow when I bring half of each loaf to brunch but I also don't like biscotti much. Oh, by the way, I am hypercritical of myself. So, basically, I will say it's barf even if it isn't. Because to me, that's what my baked goods taste like.

P.S. I know, I know, I know! That tray is too large for the quantity of biscotti I'm bringing to brunch tomorrow! But I really like the tray and this way I could do a fun single level arrangement of my contrasting biscottis!

And now for something sort of different but still related to baking.

The Cookie Tuesday Potluck!!!:

As Melanie said, "Cookies as far as the eye can see." So about a thousand million people brought cookies in and we ended up making $39.04 which is pretty choice!

I am constantly surprised when people donate lots of money or bring in cookies. I am way too cynical and smarmy to believe in the good nature of individuals. That's not really true. But it's almost true. And I just realized I had my shoulders hunched up to my ears. Which is kind of uncomfortable.

The moral of today's lesson:
People are apparently not assholes and I decided to try my hand at biscotti. Those events are unrelated. Also, don't hunch, kids!
Discuss!

Cookie Tuesday Potluck!

2007-11-05T21:07:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow is our Cookie Tuesday Potluck! This is excellent news for me because I only made half as much cookie as usual. Half as much cookie = half as much time = half as much work = way more time to sit in my big comfy chair watching Heroes and drinking hot cocoa.

I made oatmeal, semisweet chocolate chip & dried cherry cookies!
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2-2 1/2 cups rolled oats
1-1 1/2 cups semisweet chips
1-1 1/2 cups dried cherries

Bake @ 350 for 9-11 minutes.
Makes about 3 dozen.
Is fairly tasty.

Anyways, hopefully people will actually remember to bring in cookies if they said they would. I have said before that the people at work surprise my cynical self with their generosity. But they don't actually like to do stuff. It's way easier to stick a dollar in the box and grab a cookie than bake cookies and plate them and bring them in. Perhaps they will again surprise my cynical self. But I am too cynical to believe that.

Okay, I had to make this quick 6 am edit:
I had a dream last night that I got to work and then someone emailed me saying "Good job on the cookies today, it's a good thing you brought in more than just a dozen since everyone forgot to bring cookies." And then I panicked and woke up. Really, it was more of a nightmare. But now I am paranoid that everyone will forget to bring cookies.
I have had many crazy dreams lately. Two nights ago I dreamt that Melanie, Cherish and I were in some quiet, crowded public place and suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to watch Heroes!!!!!!" And then everyone stared at me, Melanie and Cherish laughed, and I sat down on the floor. Thank goodness I did remember to watch Heroes last night so this dream would not become reality.
Then last night I had another weird dream, in addition to the potluck nightmare, where I got home and was getting ready for bed when suddenly I yelled out "Oh no! I forgot to vote!!!!!!" Then I sat down on the floor.

Basically:
1. I hope people remember to bring cookies!
2. Heroes was pretty good!
3. I will be voting today, of course!

I made cookies.

2007-10-29T23:55:00.003-05:00

So, Wednesday is Halloweeeeeeeeeeeen. Which is my most favorite of holidays to truly celebrate. In honor of this holy day I made spider web cookies.

These fuckers were a pain in the ass. I imagine they would've been less of a pain in the ass if I hadn't made a thousand million of them. Such is my weekly plight.

Anyways, they are simple chocolate cookies:

3 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

I rolled these out to about 1/8 inch and cut out spider webs with a knife free hand, they probably have cookie cutters but I wanted different shapes and sizes and I am a control freak so I hand drew them all with my awesome little green knife.
Then I baked them at 350 for 10 minutes. They don't look too different after baking so you have to be careful that they have baked long enough.

With some simple icing:
2 large egg whites, beaten until stiff
4 cups confectioner's sugar
1 lemon, juiced

Then I melted some delicious bittersweet chocolate and piped it onto the cookies in a spiral. And then I took a toothpick and drew it from the center to the edges and then from the inner curves back to the center.
And then I waited for them to harden.
And then I stacked them all on my spider web plate.
And then I decided that, while they taste fairly decent, not great, but not bad (especially for plain cut outs), they look fucking awesome. And looks are way more important.

By the way,
Mo' Birthdays, Mo' Problems..
Or, if you prefer,
Another Week, Another Birthday.
Tomorrow is Paul's birthday. I made him a birthday cookie anyway.
And I forgot to take a picture of it before wrapping it all up and sticking it in my fridge so you also get a super special sneak peak at approximately 3 items in my fridge. But more importantly, I am pretty happy with how his birthday cookie turned out. I think my m&m candles are pretty rockin'!!!! Am I right or AM I RIGHT?!?!

P.S. I am going to be a vampire for Halloweens. And I am totally wearing my fangs all day at work on Wednesday. It's subtle, yet bold.

Ginger Cookies Drizzled With Lame.

2007-10-22T22:19:00.001-05:00

So these are ginger cut-out cookies drizzled with bittersweet chocolate.
And here is how it goes:
Oh man! These cookies are so cute! I bet they are super delicious as well! I will taste one!
Oh man! I just tasted one and it was not too fantastic! I hear these are supposed to be ginger, but I can't taste that too much! And should they really be that crisp?! At least they look good, though! Because that's what is truly important!

I did have one triumph this evening:

Today was Steve's birthday and I definitely forgot to make this wonderful birthday cookie for him yesterday evening. Because I was way too busy watching The Lost Boys. So I made it tonight and it is glorious. I had to bake the cookies in 9 inch springform pans. So not only is it glorious, it is also gigantasaurus. And that's chocolate cream cheese filling & topping. And a sad attempt at spelling Happy Bday in m&ms. Those fuckers are hard to write with. And apparently in real people size my photo is blurry. Which is a bummer. Just imagine how beautiful it is because I am way too lazy to take another picture. And yes those are mini semisweet chocolate chips scattered around the m&ms!!!

Post Cookie Update:

So my work peoples seemed to enjoy the cookies and they grew on me over time. Not literally grew on me, that would be weird.

Double Chocolate Coconut Cookies!

2007-10-15T19:46:00.001-05:00

Yo! So I was browsing my mom's cookbook shelf and decided to take a gander at The New England Table. In it I found a number of glorious recipes including one for Double Chocolate Coconut Cookies. I altered it slightly, less coconut & more chocolate chips, semisweet chips instead of milk chocolate chips, and light brown sugar instead of dark brown. Not too much. But enough that they are even more delicious than Vermont could ever have imagined.
I got an early start on my cookies so I wouldn't have to mix while watching Heroes. Because Heroes is wonderful and I want Bennet, The Man In The Horn-Rimmed Glasses, to be my dad. I am kind of bummed that Nathan shaved his beard, though. He looked ridiculous with it but in the most wonderful way.

So, anyways,
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sweetened flaked coconut
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1. Combine butter and sugars. Add eggs one at a time. Mix in vanilla.
2. Add cocoa powder to butter mixture slowly.
3. Sift together flour, baking soda and salt then add to butter mixture.
4. Fold in coconut and chocolate chips.
5. Place on cookie sheets in mounding tablespoons, at least 1 inch apart. Bake 11-13 minutes at 350.

Now I don't usually talk up my cookies, especially before anyone else has even had one, but these are fucking amazing. They're super dense little cookies with just enough coconut and gooey chocolate. They're not overly sweet but they are definitely rich.

Also, Mr. Flying Teen High School is slightly less creepy than last week but still skeeves me out a little. Skeeves being a technical term, of course.

Snicker scoodlie hoodlie doodlies.

2007-10-08T23:20:00.001-05:00

These cookies are actually just plain old Snickerdoodles. Not Snicker scoodlie hoodlie doodlies. But that name is far more exciting.

These cookies have disappointed me. Greatly. I am thinking that a more exciting name will make this less apparent.

I have never made Snickerdoodles. Or eaten them. Or seen them in person. So perhaps they turned out exactly as they should. But I am skeptical.

Hopefully they are mighty tasty. I haven't had the heart to even try one. Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamatic.

Hamburger Cookies!

2007-10-01T22:53:00.002-05:00

1. I am a ridiculous idiot. I will tell you a tale about this in a bit.
2. These are actually called no-bakes. But that is boring and lame. When my big brother and I were wee children we decided these so called 'no-bakes' most definitely looked like hamburgers and hamburger cookies was a much more suitable name. Thus they are hamburger cookies to me and mine.
3. Because I went out to dinner tonight and then watched Heroes I had to make a quick cookie so I would not be up until the late hours of the evening. Because I am up until the late hours of the evening far too often and need to cut back on this. Also, I love my hamburger cookies and do not make them very often. And it's my motherfucking birthday so I'm making cookies I like.

Recipe!
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
4 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 cup peanut butter (I use chunky but it doesn't technically matter I guess. Chunky is supreme, though.)
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups rolled oats

Bring butter, sugar, milk & cocoa powder to a boil and boil for exactly one minute! Then add peanut butter, vanilla & oatmeal. Mix it all together real quick and then spoon mixture onto parchment paper. Let cool. Plate. Serve.

Now, back to 1. As you see in the recipe you must boil that deliciously sugary mixture. And mix it together real quick. Well, I was adding the peanut butter to the boiling sugary mixture and got a little overzealous and sent boiling sugary mixture down onto the floor. Onto my toes. And being the fool I am I did not immediately think, "Put down the pot and stick your foot under cold water!" I thought, "I must keep mixing these cookies and spoon them onto the parchment paper before they get too cool!" As I was spooning these bad boys I could feel my toes blistering. By the time I was done and put the pan in the sink to soak, 3 of my toes had fully blistered and the skin had started peeling off. I ran my foot under cold water for a little while but realized I had kind of missed the boat on that one. So I threw some ice in a bag and now have that resting on my foot while I am updating my cookie blog!

So, to summarize, I am a fool. And I put my cookies' safety above my own. But those fuckers are tasty, man.

All Growed Up.

2007-10-01T05:58:00.001-05:00

Today is my 20th birthday. Which means I am old. It also means that certain peoples made me a Johnny Cash cake for my birthday. Which means awesome.

This is the blog-o-maniac who made my cake and she put up some rockin' pictures:
http://bittersweetlane-cherish.blogspot.com
Spoiler: You will see a ring of fire.

Also, I added to the link October's charity. We're donating to Second Harvest Heartland again. We donated to this charity a few months ago but it's really genuinely awesome and should get some more. The way they use their money is really amazing and they do some fairly sweet things with it. So you should click on that October's Charity link. You should.

Blah Blah Oatmeal Cookies Blah Blah Blah

2007-09-25T17:09:00.001-05:00

I make oatmeal cookies so so much. Last night was no different.

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 1/2-4 cups old fashioned rolled oats
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag bittersweet chocolate chips

I would show you a picture but oatmeal cookies don't really look that nice. Even with my cow butter dish watching out for the kids in a photo they still don't look that nice. But they are delicious.

This week my cookie making was fueled by the season 2 premiere of Heroes! I was so glad to see those horn-rimmed glasses again. And how good is the Hiro storyline? Right? Right? I'm excited for this season. And more horn-rimmed glasses.

Also, I realized today after giving someone this recipe that my recipes are all for a large amount of cookies. As in, 6-8 doz. at least. Which I have never mentioned to anyone when passing out recipes. So, my good people, know this: If you choose to make the above recipe and are not making it for a gaggle of merrill employees perhaps you might scale it back a bit?

Peace out!

The ones that started it all...

2007-09-17T21:24:00.001-05:00

It's peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie fun time!

Well, to be honest, I cannot guarantee the fun part but it's most definitely peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie time!

These are the very first Cookie Tuesday cookies, my friends. Decades ago I made these for my wonderful coworkers and a tradition was born out of desperation for a more enjoyable work place. Cookies are fucking awesome and make everything better, basically.

Also, this cookie making was fueled by Bad Company, Foreigner, Three Dog Night and Booker T. & the MG's. So you must realize that this can only produce something delicious.

And I would like to point out my cow butter dish discreetly watching out for these kids. It's one hell of a butter dish, let me tell you.

Now let me tell you something else: Clowns are fucking creepy. I have just realized this. I know, I know, everyone else in the world has known this for centuries. But it took me a little bit longer. The second episode of the second season of Supernatural features an incredibly creepy killer clown. And if you just so happen to watch this episode alone in an apartment with creaky floor boards and all the lights turned off and crows flapping outside your window you will be fucking creeped out.

This is a true fact.

Cookie Sensei, out!

The Cookie Tuesday Gospel

2007-09-10T20:47:00.001-05:00

Welcome to my potentially lame Cookie Tuesday blog. I am apprehensive about this because I do not know how much I truly have to say about my delicious children every single week. So there is a very real possibility that I will quit this within the month. But I'm not cynical.

Moving on, in this inaugural Cookie Tuesday post I give you Loreos!!!

They are back! And probably about as good as ever! Maybe even slightly worse!

I will briefly tell you my cookie process that is generally the same every single week. Because I live for consistency.

1) Get home, grab beer, avoid kitchen for at least 2 hours.
2) Grab second beer, finally decide to mix up the cookies. This is done begrudgingly until I put my cute apron on. It is a confirmed fact that my cute apron makes almost all things better.
3) Sift dry ingredients. Mix sugar(s), butter, vanilla & eggs. Combine the two. Grab third beer.
4) Spoon those cookies like there is no tomorrow. Onto my cookie sheets. Then place them in the oven.
5) Grab fourth beer. Go through the spooning & oven schtick 6-10 times.
6) Pile cookies onto a plate in a teetering and precarious manner.
7) Go to bed knowing I have done some good here tonight.